I've said this before on this forum but reading the first part of your post I could have been reading something I'd written a year ago. I felt exactly the same way,I was ashamed of my body because I had this disgusting belly, my husband was exactly the same as yours but when he realised how much it was affecting my confidence he backed me all the way. He has been an absolute angel through this with me and I couln't thank him enough (but don't tell him he'll just get a big head!
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My stretch marks also came up about two inches above my bb and I now have them about half an inch above my scar/pubic line. They are very faint though and hardly show even there, also because the skin is so tight now they dont pucker anymore which is a definate improvement.
I am very lucky and am currently at college so I had the TT done in the summer and didnt have to have any time off, it did mean that the poor kids had a bit of a rubbish summer but I intend to make it up to them next year. I would say three weeks off would be favourable, especially if you have a very physical job, but you could get away with two if you dont have any complications. It would also depend on wether you had the MR which can extend the healing time. Realisticly you wont do anything much for a week and not a lot for two. You will be bent over and swollen for a couple of weeks and housework will be off.
It was six weeks before I was exercising again on the recommendation of my surgeon and I'm still not up to a hard workout. Driving, not for a couple of weeks, but check with your insurance, I wasn't insured for four weeks following abdominal surgery, I could have paid a huge supplement but chose not to.
I spoke to lots of surgeons secretaries and surgical centres but went with BUPA because I felt they were the most reputable and because when I spoke to them they didn't give me the hard sell and were very down to earth. Also my surgeons secretary was so lovely and imformative she stuck out in my mind. I did some research into the few surgeons I had shortlisted and one seemed to stand out. I'll send you his details in a private message.